Calvin Trillin

"I never eat in a restaurant that's over a hundred feet off the ground and won't stand still."

Woody Allen

"Time is nature's way of keeping everything from happening at once."

Warren Buffett

"I buy expensive suits. They just look cheap on me."

Mark Twain

"It usually takes me more than three weeks to prepare a good impromptu speech."

A. J. Liebling

"Freedom of the press is guaranteed only to those who own one."

Johnny Carson

"If it weren't for Philo T. Farnsworth, inventor of television, we'd still be eating frozen radio dinners."

Imelda Marcos

"I did not have three thousand pairs of shoes, I had one thousand and sixty."